It starts with me, in endless white.
I don’t see anything. I don’t hear anything.
I don’t feel anything.
I start walking forward into this white, farther and farther; feeling as though I’m getting no where.
Up in front of me a couple dozen feet away I see some darkness, I run towards it, stumbling along the way. I get there to see it’s a tiny black square, about the size of my palm. The smell of light rain and trees coming though.
I reach my hand inside it and the box widens a bit. My arm goes through, then my shoulders, and head; Until my entire body is on the other side.
I turn to look around me. Dark exotic trees all around me, the leaves so wound together at the top that only a small amount of rain hits my face as I look up.
I look some more: No animals, No people. Nothing. I cry out for help till I hear a crack from up above me.
Thunder. I smile and head towards one of the trees. I climb and climb until I can reach the very top. Then I jump. But I don’t fall.
I head up into a thick layer of clouds till I’m right in the middle of a thunder storm.
Lightning strikes my body, and I don’t feel it.
I laugh as I see blood flowing out of my arms, covering them in a deep red.
More lightning rips through the air and tears my clothes to pieces along with the skin underneath. I cry out in joy as I start to feel it; to feel something at all.
Lighthing is tearing all around me, the sound ringing in my ears.
But then I fall.
I fall from my happiness, through the clouds, towards the trees. Rain starts to hit me, scoring into my wounds all across my body. I hit every branch of the trees on my way down, splinters reaching inside my skin. Infecting me.
I hit the ground and can’t move for what seems like forever. I don’t dare open my eyes. Just breathe. Breathe.
Or don’t, I think. It’d all be so much easier.
“Kristin?” The sound tears through my pain “I understand this may be tiring for you but you need to get up”
I open my eyes to a man I don’t know grabbing my hand, pulling me out from under a table, using his other hand to hold the table cloth aside.
“The service is right in there, you really should go say your goodbyes.” he urged me towards the room.
“My goodbyes?” my voice sounded unfamiliar and beautiful.
I walked towards the room, looking at myself along the way.
Only one scar from all that. I cursed to myself, And it just had to be along my chest.
I step into the room, closing the door behind me.
Suddenly my clothes are all black, matching all those around me.
I hear whispers of those around me, “It’s about time she show her face” and “Such a shame. I don’t know what she’ll have to do…”
I reach the front and see two, open, caskets.
One with my mother. And one with my father.
I cover my mouth to muffle a sob. What the hell happened?
I overhear two women who are closer to the caskets, wiping their tearfilled eyes.
I don’t know either of them.
“It’s so terrible that all of this happened at once” one said
“I know. I mean, I knew she was a drinker, but I don’t think anyone expected it to go this far.” Said the other, more quiet than the first.
“And her father? He should have watched his health. That heart attack was apparently the most terrible thing those doctors have seen. They said he went through so much pain”
“I just want to know how this all managed to happen on the same night”
“GOD” I shouted as loud as I could “Do you people have nothing better to do?”
I stormed off in a random direction until I saw my brother sitting in a corner.
“What are we gonna do?”
“I don’t know about you, but I’m leaving you”
“What?” I clawed at my skin to keep from hitting him.
“You’re finally getting what you wanted for so long. None of us to bug you. So be happy, you bitch. Now leave me the Hell alone”
I stumbled towards the nearest door, tearing it open and closing it behind me.
I turned to see a million faces looking back at me.
“SUPRIZE!” They all shouted
I looked down to see I was in a knee-length red dress and heels. The smell of freshly baked cake and happiness swirled around the room. I smiled.
“What’s going on here?”
“It’s your death day party” everyone said in unison.
“My what?”
“You’re death day party. We all know it’s coming. So we figured you might as well go out in a bang, right?” one said, all of them nodding after him.
I tore off my dress and ran to the back of the room, bolting out of the building only to end up in Meaghan’s kitchen.
Thank god, somewhere happy.
Just then Meaghan came running from the living room, pushing past me to open up a cupboard and pull out a package of Pop-Tarts and start heading for the fridge.
“Kristin, what are you doing here? Do you need money?” she asked, pulling two sodas out of the fridge and setting them on the table, reaching down to pick up her backpack.
“What? No. I just wanted to see you.”
“Do you need somewhere to stay? You can’t stay here” She went towards the front door and started pulling on a pair of hightops.
“I’m not happy” I cried.
“I don’t have time for this”
“What? Meaghan, my parents are dead.”
She narrowed her eyes as she tied the laces of her shoes.
“I don’t have time for you” She said before running out of the door.
Tears slowly ran down my face.
I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I turned to see Sherry and Rebecca coming up.
Oh thank god. “Sherry, can I stay here a while?”
“THORIN, let’s go” she shouted over her shoulder.
He came running around the corner with a gameboy in his hands.
“Sherry, can I stay here a while?”
“Kristin, no. I still need your parents permission”
My heart stopped as they all walked out the door, leaving me to fall to the ground sobbing uncontrollably.
I shook my head and got up, walking to the back door. I opened each of the three glass door barely, squeezing myself through.
I turned and saw whiteness.
But nothing else.
I didn’t see anything. I didn’t hear anything.
I didn’t feel anything.
Until a gunshot rang throughout the air, breaking the silence along with the skin on my back.
I cried out in pain as I heard laughter. Increasing laughter, the laughter of what sounded like hundreds of people.
I fell to the ground, closing my eyes as I felt a knife dig deep into my neck.
I spat up blood as I heard words whispered in my ear.
“You should have stayed here. You should have never woken up. You should have died from the very beginning. Give up hope and die, Kristin” I felt a gun get placed into my hand. “It’s what we all want”
I heard chanting get louder all around me.
“Give up hope and die. Die, Kristin, die. It’ll make us happy”
I pulled the gun up to my head and cried.
The chanting got louder and louder, pounding into my head.
“Give up hope and die. DIE, Kristin, DIE. It’ll make us happy!”
I pulled the trigger but there was no sound.
No more chanting.
Just blackness, fading in all around me.
